2 weeks old!

Okay this is a little late, considering Gideon is now 2 weeks and 3 days old but I am learning to accept my limitations :)

Things have been going okay with us. Not perfect but expecting perfect would be ridiculous (but understandable!). I have been struggling with the "baby blues" (what a stupid and insulting name for something that is very frustrating), Stella's recent turn for the worse and Gideon's possible milk/soy allergy in addition to normal new baby strife. My excellent husband and mommy friends have really been there for me and I am so grateful for the food, love, and support!

I expected Valentine's Day to pass without much pomp or circumstance but I was totally surprised by my wonderful husband who got me a throw I was admiring weeks ago, and then Gideon surprised me with a beautiful framed pic of himself. My father in law made my day by running out to the store for me so I could treat my husband to chocolates from me and an "I love Daddy" onsie from Giddy Poo Poo. That evening we gave up some valuable sleep time to lay in bed together and watch "Easy A" (excellent except for the stupid ending).

Emily Quattrochi came over last week for a newborn photosession and we could not be more pleased with the results. She even put together this awesome youtube video of our little guy.

I am currently terrified about Mac going back to work next week. I am scared of how much harder this is going to get and of how much strain it will put on our relationship. I feel like a need to set attainable daily goals for myself in order to stave off disappointment and regret. We will see how it goes. Everyone says that this will get better soon and we just have to get through it and while I know this it would still be nice to have a time machine right?

quick update

I had fully intended to update with my thoughts on our hospital stay (great) and first few days at home (stressful, wonderful, confusing) but that will have to wait. Right now I am just frustrated and confused. We had our first pediatrician visit today and we were really excited because we just KNEW Gideon was gaining weight and on track. After a week of stress and colic eating was finally something our boy had under control. With all the stress about his weight loss and feeding issues we had started keeping a spreadsheet of all his nursing times and wet/dirty diapers and for the last several days Gideon has met and exceeded all feeding and diaper goals. So you can imagine we were pretty crushed to find that he weighs exactly the same as he did at our bilirubin check up on Sunday. I sat in the doctor's office devastated and trying to hold back tears as he told me we had to make an appt with the lactation specialist for tomorrow so I could once again be critiqued on my technique.

Sigh

I am so tired of doing this wrong

Oh and Gideon has colic.

and he just woke up...gotta go feed him and then pump for 20 mins